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I had spent the previous four hours in an incredibly heightened state. Basically, I was a nervous wreck. And right there and then, I could feel pains in my chest.
I remember thinking I was having a heart attack, surrounded by hundreds of people, most of them much younger than me. I also remember feeling stupid, out of place and inadequate.
My opponent, by my estimation, was in his mid-thirties. I was pushing 45, and feeling it. Taekwondo had always been a love of mine but the competitions always made me feel stressed and anxious.
I did the breathing thing. Box breathing. I had read somewhere that marines practised box breathing before battle. So I counted my breaths and told myself I was a warrior.
It didn’t help.
It’s all about what you believe
I had also read something else. I’d read that if you believe something will happen, it most likely will. Years earlier I had believed I had a shot at winning a national short story contest.
Everyone around me said I had no chance. If they didn’t say that, they told me not to get my hopes up. The other…
